Raising A Responsible Child
When it comes to having a child, the ultimate goal of a parent is to rear an independent and a responsible child. It may seem as stating the obvious but it requires more of everything to achieve it. Patience, selflessness, focus, attention, emotions, strictness and what not.
Some parents pursue teaching their child through punishment, which they call guidance. It, however, is of great notice that there is a huge difference between guidance and punishment. Punishment is forcefully and purposely causing pain, either emotional or physical to make sure the child does or does not carry out a task. Guidance is showing and leading the child what path we recommend for the better. Since humans resist force, influence tends to actually work to transmit behavioral standards and values. Hence, kids choose to do the right thing only because they wish to follow our lead.
When deciding on what to do, the first and foremost thing parents need to do is to reinforce independent and responsible behavior. Catch your child being good rather than catching him doing something wrong. Reinforce positive behavior. Reward them; tell them that good act they carried out, was something you absolutely ‘loved’.
As a parent, you should know that ‘your’ response is the most important thing that matters to your child’s behavior. Let them do a task on their own. Give them chores within family and a sense of responsibility. Don’t yell and criticize if they do something wrong; correct them, politely and trust them by giving another chance. Also, let them teach the same task to someone else. Nothing reinforces a skill more than teaching.
You may also want to apologize to your child if you make a mistake, which will teach them to be sorry when they are wrong and stop any sort of arrogance which is developing within. Tell them a ‘no’ means a ‘no’ and ‘yes’ means a ‘yes’. Don’t break promises that will break their trust and faith in you.
Children learn from us as we are the role models. They learn from experience accompanied by reflection. It is our job to provide them with that particular reflection. That means a substantial amount of talking and listening with your child, daily. Prevention is indeed better than cure. Take precautionary measures, because once your child starts to misbehave, you would be left with limited options to fix that problem!